Royal Treatment | UKPsych
Tulsa, OK Psychiatry and Therapy
Tulsa Oklahoma, counselor, therapist, geriatric, adolescent psychiatry, addiction management, trauma, PTSD, personality disorders, autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD, LGBT, psychodynamic therapy, anxiety, suboxone provider, Alzheimer’s protocols MIND and MEND, DBT borderline personality disorder, Art therapy, Addiction Process Group, Women’s Trauma Group
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Attention Seeking

Have you ever wondered why other people are so attention seeking, but you are not?  It’s because people do not know that they are attention seeking.  In their heads, they are venting or acting out because they are unhappy or in pain.  They think that they are just trying to feel better and expressing how they are feeling.  So how can people tell if they are attention seeking or not?  How can we tell if we are attention seeking, and we are not aware of it?  I think the answer to this lies in looking at the “end game”.



What are we hoping will be the outcome of expressing our feelings?  Do we want validation?  Do we want comfort?  Do we want things to be more fair?  Do we want to be understood?  Do we want a hug?  Do we want people to not abandon us?  Do we want our parents to finally show that they care about us?  Do we want our partner to not leave?  By themselves, these are all valid and logical reasons for expressing our feelings.  But have you noticed that they all result in us getting more attention?  So how do we know when we are seeking attention, or when our attention seeking becomes pathological?  The key to that is in the frequency of these expressions, the intensity of the expressions, and the reasonableness of the desired outcome.


How do we measure the intensity of our emotions?  I think one way of doing that is to gauge how much they scare others.  If you mention that you are suicidal, that certainly scares others.  If you say you are going to cut yourself, that scares others.  But what about if the other person still ignores you?  Some people then make suicide attempts, or they actually go ahead and cut themselves.  They might think they are doing it to relieve their pain, and that is certainly one benefit, but they are also doing it to obtain love and caring from other people.  The ones with the most intense displays of emotions are often the ones who have been deprived of affection the most.


Another way of measuring the attention-seeking nature of our emotions is to see how often we display them.  Are you sad every day, or just when something bad happens?  Do you threaten or attempt suicide on a frequent basis?  Do you cut regularly and then wear short sleeves?  Do you have anger outbursts almost daily?  Do you cry at the drop of a hat?  Do you send text messages and then wonder why people got upset about them?  These are all ways that we express ourselves, and none is done with the conscious intention of attention seeking.  However, our sub-conscious is hard at work making sure that we get the emotional support and kindness that we crave.


Lastly, one can look at the reasonableness of the desired outcome.  Do we secretly hope that our loved ones will come rushing to the hospital when they find out that we attempted suicide?  Or do we hope that the psychiatrists and therapists will teach us how to understand ourselves and expect less of others?   When we have an emotional argument with our partner, do we hope that we will understand ourselves better to avoid further upset?  Or do we secretly hope that the other person will see the error of their ways?  A reasonable person seeks a reasonable outcome.  An attention seeking person seeks comfort and kindness.


I did not write this article to invalidate anyone’s emotions or needs.  It is almost impossible to control our needs, and our needs are very valid.  The purpose of the article is to increase awareness of one’s secondary goals.  To bring the sub-conscious into the conscious.  All of us need love, kindness, and support.  But there are nicer ways of getting attention (compliments, giving gifts, cuddling, etc.), and there are times when we need to change our expectations.  Other people rarely change, and sometimes we have to accept that they are never going to be loving, kind, or consoling.  We just have to move on with a hole in our heart.


Group Therapy

We offer many forms of group therapy.  We offer groups for Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT issues, and Borderline Personality Disorder.  Don’t be too shy, because the groups help you see that what you are going through is normal.  And they give you a base of support and friendship that just might be what you need to succeed in life.



Art Therapy

We are pleased to be the only outpatient facility in town offering art therapy.  Finally there is a form of therapy that is fun!  Find out what your art says about you, and then process it is a group to see how it inspires others.  This could become the favourite two hours of your week!

Prolonged Exposure Therapy

This is the single best treatment for PTSD.  We re-expose you to your traumas.  Does that sound terrifying to you?  It isn’t.  We hold your hand all the way through.  We show you a new way of looking at the trauma.  We reframe it from a new perspective.  We desensitise you.  We take away all of your guilt and shame.  We turn your anger and frustration into healthy anger and frustration.  Within 3-6 months, you will be able to move on with your life without being dragged down by the trauma of the past.


The most well tested treatment for BPD.  We are one of the only practices in town to offer full DBT, including the group therapy aspect.  DBT was invented in Tulsa, and there is no better place to continue that tradition of excellence.


The cornerstone of all counselling.  We have multiple counsellors available.  Counselling works best when combined with medication management.  We use it to treat anxiety, depression, PTSD, addiction, and many other conditions.  Want to get better faster?  CBT is the way to go.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Dr. Crader loves psychodynamic therapy.  She can help you figure out the cause of your problems, and then desensitise you.  She can spot the repeating patterns in your life, and change them.  She can help you find out who you were meant to be before life got in the way.  Do you have a lot of potential, but find that you are not fulfilling it?  In a job you were not meant to be doing?  Get your life back on track.


We are the cheapest suboxone provider in town.  We take insurance.  We don’t make you pay a fee up front.  We only require $20 per visit for a urine drug screen.  And we always get you in within 24 hours if you are having a crisis, or you feel like you are about to relapse.  You won’t find a more respectful and supportive set of providers in town.


This is a difficult disorder to treat.  It is an organic disease, and generally does not improve over time.  However, we can help you to help your loved one.  Lower doses of antipsychotics tend to improve outcomes over the long term.  Cognitive enhancers can improve mental abilities.  Community-based support can improve management of medications, and improve levels of daily functioning.


Have you suffered a life-threatening event?  Have you suffered sexual or physical abuse?  Do you have nightmares or flashbacks?  Do you always sit with your back to the wall?  Do you jump when a door slams or the phone rings?  If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you might have PTSD.  The good news is that there are treatments that are over 90% effective.  We can have you back to being a functional member of your family within 3-6 months.